Ice Lake in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado is
my peaceful place. It is where I go in my mind
whenever I want to feel comfy and free!
01/20/12: An updated version of this article is published for the yoga/spirit/health community at ElephantJournal.com.
Each year, I choose an intention (sankalpa) to focus on. It’s like a new year’s resolution, except there are no specific goals—only an idea or thought that I bring into awareness for the year. I spend the year studying my intention to see how it affects my life and attempt to cultivate more of it. (You can see my past blog entries about sankalpa here.)
2011 was my seventh year doing a sankalpa practice, and this year I focused on peacefulness. There has been a lot of change and upheaval in my life this year, so focusing on peacefulness has been a challenging but worthwhile endeavor.
For some reason my exploration of peacefulness in 2011 brought up a lot of issues about another quality: passion. American culture tells us to “live your passion” and “follow your passion” to find fulfillment and happiness in this life. But after much reflection, I think passion is too strong a word; it doesn’t seem to be a truly positive quality to embrace, especially as an entire culture.
Passion implies a loss of control, a kind of tunnel vision where all the factors of a situation may not be considered. It connotes greed, irrational behavior, and unconcern for consequences of one’s actions—perhaps it’s where the phrase “crime of passion” originated. After considering the prism of passion from many different angles, I realized that at least for me, passion and peace are mutually exclusive.
Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things that I don’t care about deeply — family, friends, healthy lifestyles, social justice, creativity, community, yoga, learning, and teaching, the environment, etc.
But passion cannot exist where peacefulness lives.
Passion says that where we are now isn’t good enough or right enough, and we have to keep searching outside ourselves to find self-worth and fulfillment. Passion looks too much into the past and future to the detriment of awareness of the present moment, where true living takes place.
As my sankalpa for 2011 winds down, I have decided to stop living with passion as a value. I would rather have peacefulness in my life than passion. I realized this when I began to describe to a friend how I knew that Matt was “the one”. I told her that unlike other boyfriends, I never felt that crazy teenager feeling of being out of control in my infatuation. When I was/am with Matt, I feel peaceful. I feel a sense of being “home”. I like this feeling of belonging and acceptance. So, choosing Matt was the first of many choices that have prioritized peace over passion over the past 9 years. I will continue to choose peace, because that is where happiness and fulfillment truly reside.
